Thursday, May 31, 2007

The big move

Things are going to a bit quiet on here, possibly until Monday, because we are moving house today and tomorrow! Yep exciting times.

I keep losing the packing tape and scissors, but aside from that, it's going pretty well. Roberto has also taken these two days off, and I have Andzelika in helping - so it's a three-pronged attack.

I didn't realise just how many cosmetics I had until now. I think a clear-out is in order asap. Same goes for some very dodgy outfits I have in my wardrobe. I have my sisters coming to visit me next week and I'll give them first dibs on all my crap (because that's what we do with each others cast-offs) and then it's off to the charity shops.

A big thanks to those of you (yes, people actually offered - amazingly enough!) who called and emailed offering assistance. I think we have this in the bag, thanks also to the fact that earlier this year we put a lot of stuff into storage. So I'm feeling pretty relaxed about it and fingers crossed nothing gets broken or damaged when the big hefty removals guys arrive here tomorrow.

So excited about our new house - because, well, it's a house and it has outdoor space. Being a South African girl at heart, we aren't happy unless we can eat somethings decomposing flesh while incurring a degree of sun damage. We've even ordered one of those bench swings for the garden.

Right, and now I have to get back to it.

If you are desperate for some really bitchy, primarily UK-based gossip in my absence, check out Holymoly. They're generally a bit acerbic for my taste, but they do keep you up to speed.

Then there's the ever-excellent D-listed for all things celeb.

OK - laters... .

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The dark side

Oh man, these are funny. Click here to see more of the 'celebrity impersonators' at the 16th annual 'Reel Awards' event at the Imperial Palace and Casino in Las Vegas. Some of them aren't too bad actually, but the Paris Hilton and Bill Clinton ones have to be my favorites. Does anyone remember that episode of Seinfeld where he dates a women that he swears is either attractive or scary-looking depending on the light she is standing it? Well these reminded me of that.

Source and photo source

'Stop the Clash of Civilizations'

This video caused a shit storm on You Tube by way of comments. In fact I think the subsequent comments (17142 on last check) it generated are more interesting, and admittedly more disturbing, than the film in terms of relaying people's feelings on these controversial topics. Watch it and then go check out what people had to say about it here.

If you can't see the clip, click here.

The big cat that likes water

When I first saw these pictures I thought they were very good, albeit somewhat frightening Photoshop comps. But as it turns out they are 100% real photos of a white Bengal Tiger called Odin. Odin is a resident of the Six Flags Discovery Kingdom Zoo in Vallejo, near San Francisco, and has an unusual penchant for the water.

Visitors can see Odin doing his diving for meat trick in a specially made glass pool.

Has reality TV hit a new low?

This is some crazy shit. In fact I heard this on the radio this morning and had the same reaction: 'This is some crazy shit'. Only I also thought that it was crazy shit in the worst possible taste.

Despite the government calling for it to be dropped, a Dutch broadcaster is determined to air a show whereby TV contestants compete for a terminally ill woman's kidneys.
In the show, due to be broadcast on Friday, a woman identified only as Lisa, 37, will select a recipient based on their history, profile and conversations with their families and friends. Throughout the 80-minute show, viewers will be invited to send Lisa text messages to advise her." Continue reading
Yep, it's kind of like TV is devolving back towards the days of the Colosseum.

Click here for further reading.

Are the Teletubbies gay? The Polish gov is determined to find out

Personally this is not news to me. In fact I've long suspected there was something suspect about the Teletubbies, and now, fortunately, someone in power is investigating this matter further.

According to ITN:
A Polish government watchdog has said it wants to investigate if the Teletubbies promote homosexuality.

Ewa Sowinska, who deals with children rights, said she would ask psychologists to advise if this was the case in the BBC children's show.

She was quoted as saying: "I noticed (Tinky Winky) has a lady's purse, but I didn't realise he's a boy.

"At first I thought the purse would be a burden for this Teletubby ... Later I learned that this may have a homosexual undertone." Continue reading

I think we should be grateful that the Polish conservative government is looking into important matters like Tinky Winky's lady purse. I mean, someone has to do it.

Picture source

It's a family thing

Further to my post about Facebook, I've used it as an opportunity to create a group for people with the same maiden name surname as me. Why, you ask? Well, it's a long story. But basically it's sort of an homage to my late father. He used to bang on about how our ancestors travelled to South Africa as French Huguenots, and then set about establishing the wine industry there. And you know how it is when you're a teenager, you couldn't really give a shit about things like that. Anyway, it was important to him and he even sent off for the genealogy paperwork etc. I don't honestly know what happened to it. Rumour has it that in a zealous cleaning fugue state my mother accidentally threw the envelope away.

Fast forward years later, and I started a group on Facebook, and amazingly, all these distant cousins have been popping up with the same family origins, and it turns out the Huguenot Society in South Africa have even published a book about my family, or rather, my familial ancestors. So I've sent off for it and am excitedly waiting to see what the whole story is.

And during all this investigating on my part, a conversation with my sister revealed that my dad was half Jewish. I sort of remember him mentioning it, but I thought perhaps it was only one of his grandparents. Again, just half remembered bits and pieces here and there.

So it turns out my father's mother's parents were both English Jews, and they immigrated to South Africa, where I believe my grandmother and her siblings were born. I think both my grandmother's sisters married into the Jewish faith, and I have absolutely no idea why she didn't. My grandfather was quite dashing admittedly, but from speaking to my Jewish friends it seems quite a big deal to marry outside of the faith, more so if someone doesn't convert, and even more so in that day and age. And my grandfather most definitely did not convert. In fact, my grandmother adopted his religion (a Calvinist faith known as the Dutch reform church), and his lifestyle completely. I think this is another reason I had no idea about her being Jewish. She never spoke of it, and as far as I knew she ran a pretty regular South-African farmer's wife's household, without a Matzo cracker in site.

I think there is a lesson here: Enjoy your parents (and grandparents) while you have them around, listen to all their stories, however boring, and ply them with as many questions as possible about your origins. Because you never know when they'll be taken from you and you'll be at a loss as to what to tell your own kids one day about where they came from.

Monday, May 28, 2007

How will you be defined in the dictionary?

My friend Jeremy just posted this up on Facebook. What, you've never heard of Facebook? Have you been living in a cave? Either that or you are one of those rare and slightly scary people that actually does what you are paid to do and works at work. Either way, check it out - it's totally the next thing dude.

Anyway, I digress. So my friend Jeremy (a self-respecting work dodger like myself) just posted this link called 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' You type in your name and it tells you what the dictionary definition of it is.

Mine came back as follows:

Lucille --

A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever

I like.

Shameless 'Disastrous Dates' plug #2

I know I'm going on about this one, but it's because I really believe in it people. This blog has the potential to enrich lives I tells ya. OK, at least in as much as it's bloody good reading when you're stuck at your desk at lunch.

Disastrous Dates is very slowly but surely starting to collect stories, and they are very funny. I've had a few emails from people who've said they don't have gmail or don't know how to register to become a contributor. Actually it's pretty easy and idiot-proof. But if you still don't get it and or can't be asked, you can email in your contributions as two people already have, and I'll post them up for you.

All stories that are emailed in are published without a name, unless you'd like one to appear alongside.

Please take a look and send in your stuff. Disastrous Dates needs you!

The good, the bad, and the utterly ridiculous

Yay! The rumour mill has it that the ever brilliant Cate Blanchett will not only be in the new Indiana Jones movie, but that she will play the villain, as opposed to the predictable love interest. Inspired choice! Love those movies, and will definitely be going to see this one.

In other more crack-inspired movie choice news, World Entertainment News is reporting that Keira 'Toothpick' Knightley is being lined up to play Diana, Princess Of Wales, in a movie based on the late royal's life.

Now I have a few questions here. Firstly, doesn't someone chosen to act in a biopic have to have a range of facial expressions that extend past, well, one? Also, I wonder if the contract will require Knightley to bulk up for the role? Because although Diana had that whole bulimia thing going and was always on the slim side of things, I don't ever recall her being as skin and bones as Knightley. And I should know because I was an obsessive Diana fan when I was a kid and had volumes of scrapbook pictures of her. Sad I know, but I was stuck in South Africa and we were hard up for role models.

Photo source


An only slightly obsessive MAD Magazine fan called Doug Gilford has scanned in and categorized what he refers to as 'every regular issue cover' from 1952 until the present day. Check it out here.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

So this is what 'a job in media' involves

Holy Crap! This is footage someone shot here in London, Soho, of a couple bonking on a roof during office hours. The comments made by the people watching sum it up.

If you can't see the clip, click here.

Source: Holy Moly

Rosie versus Elizabeth - again

This is making the blog rounds, and with good reason - it's the latest major cat fight between Rosie and Elizabeth on The View. I don't care for Elizabeth at all and I think she's deluded, but she has some balls going up against Rosie, who, quite frankly, scares the crap out of me. If you can't see the clip click here.

Interestingly, they had Alicia Silverstone on the show, after this bitch fest took place. Watch how she comes on and doesn't greet Elizabeth. Elizabeth looks pissed and puts her hands on her hips - classic body language. If you can't see the clip, click here.

Days like these

I feel like seven kinds of hell today. Whatever seven kinds of hell is supposed to feel like.

I woke up with one of those insanely painful headaches that settles somewhere above your left eye and then penetrates deep into the bones of your face and head. And stays there, no matter how many Paracetamol you take.

Squinting through one eye I managed to get all my client work done in a couple of hours, and then tried to get some sleep. As it happens every bloody jackhammer, car alarm, and ambulance in London then chose to infiltrate our street - at the same time. Oh, plus a large fly decided to settle on our bedroom windowsill and make tragic trapped buzzing sounds (despite the window being wide open). And then there was the man that thought it was a good idea to stand outside the Tesco's on our corner, and make loud guttural shouting sounds like a cat being strangled - for no apparent reason. All of these things would be funny in terms of their almost farcical quality, were it not for the fact that they have compounded my headache and left me in a stinking mood.

I've given up trying to lie quietly with my eyes closed, because it's too hot to do so with the window shut, and too damn noisy to do so with it open. I've also got washing to do, and it would probably be a good idea to have a shower and brush my teeth before my husband gets home. You know, so he doesn't discover I'I'm actually a complete disgusting slob. Just how long can I keep living this double life?

The highlight of my day so far is that Disastrous Dates is starting to get off the ground - slowly but surely.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Disastrous Dates

I have a lot of friends working the singles scene here in London and it's tough going out there. In fact, it wasn't that long ago I was doing the same thing - so I can totally relate. It gave me the idea to set up (yes, yet another) communal blog for people to go and have a place to share/rant about their dating experiences. It's called Disastrous Dates.

Please check it out and feel free to join - whether to share a once-off rant, or to become a regular contributor. Oh, and spread the news.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

David and Victoria declare their undying love for each other

This is a clip of the Beckham's at a recent football match in Spain. I'm really feeling the love.

If you can't see the clip, click here.

Jonathan Ross tries to interview Janice Dickinson

Oh my god! This is a longish clip (approx 10 mins), but so worth it. Probably not safe for watching at work, unless your colleagues are OK with swearing, dry humping, flashing, and well, Janice Dickinson being Janice Dickinson. Very funny and cringe worthy, and the sort of thing they probably now use at TV presenter school as an example of a nightmare scenario.

Poor Jonathan Ross - he didn't stand a chance.

If you can't see the clip, click here.

It would be sad if it weren't so stupid in the first place

OK, so yesterday Jodie Marsh's casting call for a potential husband attracted a grand total of ... two men. Yep, two. And one of them was drunk.

Talk about setting yourself up.

Photo: Dlisted

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Before crack got him

This is a diamond bit of footage someone dug up from the film archives, capturing a very young, fresh-faced, articulate, and open sore free Pete Doherty queuing for an Oasis album.

If this is what he's like when he surfaces between drug stupors, you can sort of see why Kate loves him. He's so eager and cute. The whole thing is also a very sad reminder of just how corrosive drugs can be to someone's life.

If you can't see the clip click here.


While not a huge fan of Victoria Beckham's, I've often written on here that she never gets an outfit wrong. Well I take that back.

What the hell was she thinking with this lime green spandex mess at the Chanel Cruise show this week? It's the sort of thing my mother's hairdresser used to wear back in the 80's, and he was a short Greek man called Chris.

It's more tarty than tailored, which is what VB is normally known for (tailored that is). I can sort of see Kate Moss carrying it off, but then again she'd probably wear it with a pair of flat knee-high boots.

You may be hanging out with Lindsay Lohan now Posh, but no reason to start taking style tips from her. Yes, this said by someone who favours their pyjamas these days.

Pictures source Dlisted

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Just exactly what goes into a KFC bucket?

According to a recent report from Peta, a whole lot of misery, that's what:

"Our undercover investigator documented cruelty to animals at a Missouri slaughterhouse owned by George's, Inc. - a KFC "Supplier of the Year"- including the following:
  • Workers were throwing live chickens.

  • Metal dumping machines were crushing birds to death.

  • Birds' limbs were impaled on the broken bars of metal cages, and workers were instructed simply to yank the birds out. The investigator also found severed limbs left in cages after they had been emptied.

  • Workers were hitting chickens with metal poles in order to move the birds when they got stuck in the spring-loaded cage doors.
In one morning, PETA's investigator saw roughly 50 "red birds" - chickens who enter scalding-hot defeathering tanks while they are still conscious." Click here to find out more.

I'm a meat eater, so I'm not in a position to get sanctimonious about the meat market. But there are ways and means of doing things, and affording an animal a humane farm existence and death are certainly not too much to ask. When in doubt, buy free range and organic.

You can check out more from Peta here.

A big thanks to Derya for the tip.

Photo source

Cheryl Cole versus Lily Allen - Round II

In an unsurprising response to Lily Allen's recent Myspace rant in which she calls Cheryl Cole a "stupid bitch", Ms Cole has responded with the following:
"Yes, I was bitchy about her but I never mentioned her weight. Quite frankly I couldn't care less if she has a di*k or not.

I have had enough of her and her big mouth. Over the last few months she has called Nicola ugly, which I bit my tongue over.

She called Sarah vile and my husband horrendous, but seems to have conveniently forgotten all of that. I can't stand people who give it but aren't prepared to take it back.

I could go on but I left school a long time ago and have no time for this. I'm currently on a big arena tour with the girls singing live each night.

Lily, I could find you a spare ticket if you'd like to come and experience what a live arena tour is like…as that's the closest you'll get to it."

And now over to you Lily - any comment?



In a shock move that no one on this planet could have predicted, authorities are saying that Paris Hilton will now only serve half her jail time - that's 23 days. Furthermore, she will do so in a 'special needs housing unit' and will be separated from the general inmate population. Oh well, at least they got the special needs bit right. Continue reading here.

Photo source

Salvador Dali on "What's My Line?"

I've never seen this before, and it's a must for Dali fans. The host of the show is also utterly brilliant.

If you can't see the clip, click here.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Penis size really does matter

Tonight I logged into my letters from london email account, and instead of a myriad of offers to write mind-blowingly amazing articles for magazines like Vanity Fair and the New Yorker (a girl can dream), I got five spam emails about how penis size really does matter. Like I need to be told that. Let's settle this once and for all OK? Yes it does matter. There, I've said it.

Recently, I've come to love my pyjamas so much I'm thinking of throwing out all my regular clothes and just buying a whole lot of different pairs of pj's. The lovely woman who cleans our house turned up this week and just looked at me sadly. It was midday and I was still wearing my pyjamas, and not even a good pair, but ones with a big rip in the trousers. She was too nice to comment, but before leaving she said to me in the nicest tone of voice, "You should do some washing - really, I'll iron it for you." Point taken.

I've also become square-eyed from watching too much TV. I'd love to say I use my solitary spare time to get my charcoals out and start doing sketches, or re-pot my plants, or give myself pedicures and facials. But no, that would be far too virtuous and productive.

Right now I am a big fan of Shark with James Woods. It's basically House, but set in the legal world. This is fine by me as I've always been a bit of a sucker for a crime investigation drama - and I'm not too fussy about it having to be overly intellectual. Then there's America's Next Top Model - always good to remind one's self of just how cruel us women can be to each other. And then there's good old fashioned Prime Suspect, with the brilliant Helen Mirren, who even in that, looks like the Queen - albeit in a hard-drinking tough-talking kind of way.

On a positive note my grandmother, who was in hospital with suspected pneumonia (but what later turned out to be a severe case of bronchitis), is out of danger and making culinary demands on my mother - a surefire sign she's on the mend. Apparently the hospital food is shit. I'd like to say she's fussy because she's supposedly in quite a nice place, but hospital food is unequivocally shit anywhere in the world, so she probably has a point.

Right, and now it's time for a bit of Marian Keyes and then bed. Oh, and what luck - it just so happens I'm already in my pyjamas.

You could be the lucky guy!

Forget art galleries, nice bars, or internet dating. Now all you guys have to do to not just to meet, but marry the girl of your dreams, is audition for the role of Jodie Marsh's husband.

The unlucky-in-love starlet (and common denominator in her too many to count disastrous relationships) is desperate for a husband. So desperate that she's going on TV and doing the whole thing reality-style.
On her website Jodie writes, "I KNOW my soul-mate is out there, I just don't want to wait any longer to meet him. The big question is ... IS IT YOU?! If you think that maybe, just maybe you might be THE ONE then please get in touch, it could be the best decision you ever made."
Check out full details here.

For those of you fortunate enough not to know who Ms Marsh is, well, it's hard to describe her claim to fame. She's sort of a glamour girl, though she's not really glamorous. Then there's the fact that she favours wearing belts instead of tops to London parties. Oh yes, and she's always appearing in magazines like OK (with nauseating photo spreads) swearing her eternal love and plans for marriage and babies with a guy she's met 5 minutes ago. This is usually followed by a rant 5 minutes later on her blog about what a loser the guy is, and how she dumped his cheating ass. This after the photo spread has already run of course. I mean, we wouldn't want OK to look as though it were running fluff pieces now would we?

Why do I care?

Photos and original story source: Dlisted

How will brand Beckham go down in the States?

Victoria Beckham recently touched down in LA with not just the usual 500-strong paparazzi, but a film crew - her own. They are shooting material for a mocumentary TV show about the Beckham's move to LA - finding a home, settling the kids in schools etc.

The show is also most likely a huge publicity stunt and attempt to get their name firmly established in the American TV-watching psyche, and will no doubt help with sales of whatever Victoria goes over their to hok. Skeletal jeans? Oh no, she's already done that.

The US blogosphere is already decidedly anti-Victoria Beckham, in that strange way that some people are gently mocked from time to time, and others are really laid into. Her overly thought-out outfits, pouting expression, and severely controlled media image mean she's getting a bit more of the 'really laid into' treatment. Perez Hilton is fond of referring to her as an alien robot, among other things.

But the question is this, do people honestly think that the Beckham's, specifically Victoria Beckham, is going to endear herself to the US public, when so far she has failed to do so in her own homeland? There is no doubt that people, women especially, admire her for her dress sense, but as far as being a likable celebrity goes - I don't think so. At least not anywhere near as likable as someone like Colleen McLoughlin is.

There are probably several factors to blame for this. She gives very few interviews, and those that she does give are usually just severely airbrushed photo ops in OK Magazine, with in-your-face cringe worthy headlines that scream, 'David and Victoria declare their undying love.' Usually amidst yet another rumour that David is playing away from home.

Victoria also never lets her guard down, and her persona is one of strict control and perfection. Indeed, those interviews with her that do exist continually site the words, "I don't have an eating disorder, I'm just controlled about what I eat." Judging by not just her tiny frame, but her extremely contrived wardrobe, one gets the feeling 'controlled' is the operative word with Ms Beckham. Whether intentional or not, the inference is that the rest of us women fail to look that perfect simply because we lack control. Elizabeth Hurley's statements send a similar message.

It's easy to imagine how someone like Victoria Beckham came to be. She's a Spice Girl, and then meets an attractive and talented footballer, and suddenly they become the golden couple. Having that much publicity and that many photos taken of you can make anyone a bit paranoid about their appearance, and it's easy to see how she evolved into something of a robot - wanting to get everything absolutely right, all of the time. The unfortunate side effect to this is that ironically it is our imperfections that endear us to people, and when someone is a perfect facade, well, they become just that - a facade.

I wish them and their family a great deal of luck in America. I think they'd be wise to do some interviews over there, lower their guards, develop a sense of humour about themselves, and allow interviewers to grill them a bit. Oh, and Victoria, it would help if just occasionally you smiled.

But can they let down their strictly controlled media persona long enough to do this? I'm not so sure.

Photo source

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Lily Allen versus Cheryl Cole

The thing with fights between women, is that they are never happy until blood is drawn. I know, because I've been watching Cycle 8 of America's Next Top Model, and trust me, there are some valuable tips on the art of psychological torture. And I'm not just talking about having to look at Tyra's various unattractive weave ensembles either.

I don't know what it is about women - but we fight dirty. Forget sitting down and having a conversation about what's annoying us. No, far better to just assume that the person concerned intentionally slighted or insulted us, and thereby hates us, and to wage full-blown war and an eternal grudge. Jordan versus Kerry Katona anyone?

The latest to stay loyal to the species are Lily Allen and Cheryl Cole (formerly Tweedy). It's a long, stupid, boring story (these things often are), but it's making the headlines, so bare with me:

Apparently Lily wrote a song about Cheryl and how everyone wants to look like her. Now even though Cheryl is stereotypically attractive, if you know Lily and her music, you'd guess she did it with tongue firmly lodged in cheek. Cheryl returned the complement by saying, "Because everyone wants to look like her. Chick with a dick. She's either talking shit or talking about someone else. Asshole."

Recently Allen had some sort of mini breakdown on her Myspace about her weight and her appearance, and started talking about wanting lipo and gastric bypass surgery. She blamed constant comparisons to Kate Moss (I kid you not), and Cheryl's comment for driving her to all this self-loathing. In a follow up to this, she then said the following:
"I know I've said bad things about people in the past , though the majority of them have been blown wayyyy out of proportion , but this i mean - Cheryl if you're reading this , I may not be as pretty as you but at least I write and SING my own songs without the aid of autotune. I must say taking your clothes off, doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying, your mother must be so proud , stupid bitch.
Now some might say, this whole down and out time may have been an opportunity for her to set things to right. I mean she did start by saying, "I know I've said bad things about people in the past ..." And then what does she go and do? She says some more bad shit about Cheryl, and you just know Cheryl is going to come back on this one. Girlfriend should have left well enough alone.

Lily, for what it's worth, I read the big American blogs daily, and everyone knows who you are, but lots of people had no clue who Cheryl Cole/Tweedy was. She may be pretty, but you, my dear, have cracked the United States, and you can bet your lovely rounded ass that wins hands up. Stop worrying about the size of your waistline and getting into cat fights, and get back to being an artist, which is what got you where you are now.


Picture source

Monday, May 14, 2007

New Madeleine McCann appeal poster

I was sent the following in an email today. The photo shows that Madeleine has quite a unique and distinctive detail in her right eye, which should be recognizable even if her appearance has been changed for the purposes of disguise. Please click on the image to see the enlarged version.

The family also devised this new poster because they fear Madeleine may have been taken to Spain where her disappearance has generated less attention.

I was also sent the following information, which most of you already know, but is important regardless:

Madeleine McCann went missing from Praia de Luz in Portugal on the 3rd May 2007 between 9:30pm-10pm. Anyone who may have seen the three-year-old should please call Crimestoppers in UK. The International CRIMESTOPPERS No is 0044 18 8373 1336.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

What goes around ...

(Click to enlarge and read)

In a recent interview in Closer Magazine (above), Paul Callaghan, the posh ex-army chap who was fired from The Apprentice in week 6, made some surprisingly negative comments about the devil Katie Hopkins, the object of his on-screen affections.

Commenting on recent tabloid stories that 10 years ago, Katie had had an affair with her wealthy married boss (and father of three), who subsequently left his wife and married Katie and had two kids with her, and later another relationship with yet another married man (also with kids), Paul had this to say:

"She's got a bad track record and you have to be wary of that. She's 31 and people don't change. She hasn't shown great integrity in her past relationships and I see that as a warning sign."
On The Apprentice website, Paul says: "Katie's a slightly dangerous individual and that makes her quite exciting. She does have this darker side. She's very nice to people to their faces and will be very nasty and cutting behind their backs. Katie's playing a political game."

The fact is, that no matter how smart or driven she is, the woman is mean, a snob, and very toxic. Personally I think Sir Allen can see what any business person with half a brain can see a mile away - this is the sort of person who will be very destructive in any work environment. She may get the job done, but will cause a lot of damage in her wake with all her political game-playing and back-stabbing. Oh, and then there's the married men in the office to worry about.

Image/article source: Closer Magazine. 12-18 May 2007, UK.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

The baby and the cobra

This video of a baby and cobra in a rite of passage thing somewhere in India is causing all kinds of hell. Animal rights people are getting pissed because the cobra apparently has it's fangs removed and it's mouth sewn shut. Pro-people groups are getting pissed because it's endangering the life of the little kid (apparently the fangs can grow back quite quickly). Some people are saying these Indian people are backwards. Some Indian people are saying those people are culturally ignorant and racist. Others are asking where the baby's nappy is, and others still are responding with 'Do you have any idea how much nappies cost in third world countries you capitalist eejits!?!' Etc etc etc.

My take on the whole thing has got nothing to do with slamming people's religeous or cultural practises, or whether or not the kid has any kit on. I'm commenting on what I see, rather than what I know (which is basically nothing about this): The snake is clearly doing what any wild animal would do in a situation where it feels threatened - it's defending itself. And the poor thing is probably even more thrown by what's happening because it's usual means of defence, it's mouth, has been sewn shut. That's some cruel-ass shit for any living creature to have to go through. And yes, there are a lot of cruel things that go on all over the world to animals, not just in countries with obscure rites. I mean, let's not even go into how animals are killed in abattoirs in so-called 'developed' countries, battery farming, or god forbid the practises of the fur trade.

The baby doesn't appear to know very much of what is going on so doesn't seem to be too frightened or traumatised by things. Personally I wouldn't want to put my child up against an unpredictable wild animal like that, fangs or no fangs, but maybe that's just me.

Watch it and decide for yourself.

You can read more about it here.

If you can't see the clip click here.

Source: Dlisted

Friday, May 11, 2007

Oral Sex: Can it give you cancer?

OK, I'm having a slow day on the celeb front, so it's weird news posts I'm afraid.

According to Yahoo News, US researchers are saying that a common virus, known as HPV, that's believed to be transmitted during oral sex is apparently the cause of a rare kind of throat cancer in men and women.

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University, Maryland, who studied 100 men and women newly diagnosed with the rare malignancy and 200 healthy people found that a common strain of HPV -- HPV 16 -- was present in 72 percent of tumours.

Patients whose blood or saliva samples indicated that they had prior HPV infection were 32 times more likely to develop oropharnygeal cancer, which affects the throat, tonsils and back of the tongue.

And those people who had had more than six oral sex partners were 8.6 times more likely to develop the HPV-linked cancer.

The figures establish HPV infection as the greatest risk factor for this type of cancer, overturning previous theories blaming a pack-a-day smoking habit for 20 years, or regular heavy alcohol consumption over 15 years. Continue reading

But before you throw your hands up and think life is indeed all hard work and no fun anymore, rest assured that, "... oropharyngeal cancer is relatively uncommon and the overwhelming majority of people with an oral HPV infection probably will not get throat cancer," said study author Maura Gillison.


Man sues NHS because he didn't die

I'd love to say that's a misleading headline, but unfortunately it isn't.

According to Sky News:

A grandfather who went on a massive spending spree when doctors told him he would die is taking legal action against the NHS after learning he had been misdiagnosed.

The 62-year-old said he was told by doctors at the Royal Cornwall Hospital in Treliske that he only had a short time left to live. So he quit his job and stopped paying his mortgage, instead splashing out on a lavish lifestyle of hotels, restaurants and holidays.

Then the hospital told him that he was actually suffering from non-fatal pancreatitis. Mr Brandrick said that in the year he thought he was dying he spent everything and now he faces losing his house. Continue reading.

I can understand the guy getting upset because of the emotional damage he might have suffered over thinking his life was over and he was about to die - I mean, that's some serious shit for anyone to deal with. I can even understand the idea of splashing out and spending your savings.

But even if your days are genuinely numbered, this shouldn't mean stopping your mortgage, and incurring a load of debt. Who's supposed to pay for those when you're gone - your family? The taxpayer?

Man should be happy he has his health back - that's the most valuable thing anyone can have.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Madeleine McCann

Firstly, apologies for the long delays between blogs recently. I've not been very well, but please check back from time to time and hopefully as my health improves I'll write a bit more regularly.

Right, I know this is a very delicate issue, and right now the priority for everyone concerned is not to allocate blame, but to find
Madeleine McCann, the little three-year-old girl that was abducted recently in Portugal.

Having just familiarised myself with this story though, is it just me, or was anyone else puzzled as to how two parents could leave a three-year-old and her two-year-old twin siblings alone in a holiday apartment while going out for dinner?

I know the parents claim the restaurant was nearby and they checked in on the children every half an hour, but I still find it hard to believe that any parent would leave children as young as that totally unsupervised for any amount of time.

Even if you live in the most peaceful place on the planet where nothing ever happens and you can sleep with your back door open, surely there are risks such as a child choking in bed at night, or even just waking up from a bad dream and needing a drink of water or reassurance from a parent?

There is no excuse whatsoever for abducting children, and it sickens me to think that we live in a world where this even has to be a concern for anyone. And god knows children are sometimes stolen from playgrounds and supermarkets when parents are right there and their backs are turned even for a milli-second. But in this case, I think it really does or at least should be a reminder that small children should not be left alone like this - especially in unfamiliar surroundings. And even if it means paying a sitter to watch them sleep, at least it's peace of mind.

My thoughts and prayers are with the family.

Photo source

Saturday, May 05, 2007

David Gest's Albino Hotel

I'm loving David Gest - clearly. I found this classic clip from 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here.' It was this show that made David a household name here in the UK and endeared him to the English public, not least of all because of his many outlandish tall stories, such as this one. Hillarious.

If you can't see the clip, click here.
Update: I googled 'Albino Hotel Detroit' and found this link. lol

Vintage Liza and David

Part 1. If you can't see the clip click here

Part 2. If you can't see the clip click here

Please fire this woman!

OK, let's talk The Apprentice, UK. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm addicted to this year's show, mainly because of it's train-wreck appeal. In the US series you have some serious movers and shakers - extremely competent and successful business people in their own rights, competing fiercely. In the UK it's like a collection of people most likely to be fired from regular jobs, congregated together in one show. The incompetence and stupidity is overwhelming, barring maybe one or two contestants.

One person that I have come to dislike intensely is Katie Hopkins (pictured). For me this women embodies every negative stereotype people have about posh people in this country, and does nothing to dispell any of them. First and foremost she is a snob - the worst kind of snob. And her constant, superior (and not to mention mean) observations about other team members, mostly Adam, are painful to watch.

This week it was if Adam were in her school he would have been in the C stream, and he's nothing more that a car salesman (she says this every week as though it were a given negative). This coming from a women who didn't sell a thing during the art task where her shameless, cringe-worthy, and not to mention idiotic bullshitting meant that she was too busy schmoozing with prospective buyers to sell anything. Adam, the lowly car salesman who was apparently so out of his depth in the art world, sold two photographs.

Secondly, she's a part of the whole posh clique in the house, fortunately one member less now that her equally annoying boyfriend Paul has been voted off for astonishing incompetence. It's the sort of us-versus-them thinking, as in us we are better than others because we went to certain schools, or we speak a certain way, or our parents have money, that reallly irks. Again, certainly not the sort of thinking all so-called posh people subscribe to, but unfortunately, and amazingly, clearly some still do - even in the 21st century.

As we all know, at the end of the day intelligence, raw talent, and hard work is what counts and is what should prevail - but posh or not, does this year's show have any real contenders? Another blog for another time.

In the case of Ms Hopkins, we can hopefully rest assured that Sir Allen, a self-made chap from council-estate origins, is not romanced by any of her empty blagging, and ultimately I think her 'all-talk no action', smug, cream-clad nasty ass, is going to be voted off. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Photo source

Parasite Hilton off to the clink

I'm not one to laugh at other people's bad news, but I have to confess, this latest news did kind of make the world feel like a better place, if only for a moment. Finally a judge out there that's done his job and hasn't been sucked in by all the celebrity bullshit that has seen so many of these people, and they are just people at the end of the day, get off for crimes and misdemeanours that would have landed anyone else's asses in jail.

Yep, Ms Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days at the Century Regional Detention Center (Los Angeles County's jailhouse for women) for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case by driving with a suspended license.

Apparently, this is what she can expect in the clink:

Like other high-profile Los Angeles County inmates _ O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Robert Mitchum, Sirhan Sirhan and Charles Manson _ Hilton will be segregated from the general population for her own safety, living in a one- or two-person cell.

Her cell will be Spartan: 12-by-8 feet with a toilet, sink and a window 6 inches wide. She'll comb her blonde locks in a mirror made of polished metal.

Breakfast is served between 6 a.m. and 7:30 a.m., hours when Hilton sometimes gets in after a night of partying.

Inmates in segregation are allowed outside their cells for at least an hour each day to shower, watch television in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone, Scott said. There are a bank of phones that use prepaid phone cards _ cellular telephones and Blackberries aren't allowed. Continue reading

OK, so maybe jail is a bit harsh, but still you have to admit it's kind of funny imagining how she's going to cope. Sadly I have a feeling the whole thing will be a lot easier on her than any normal person would have to go through, and I doubt it's going to make any life-changing impressions on her character. And do I predict a camera crew getting involved there too?

Photo source