Sunday, April 29, 2007

When skinny stops being sexy





Pictures (click to enlarge) of this strange little woman have been circulating the blogosphere for the past few months. I don't know who she is or what her story is.

Clearly she has issues with her weight though - either by choice, or through medical reasons. I mean being that thin surely can't be natural can it? It looks like that bikini is covering a skeletal frame with a thin layer of skin over it.

But what I think I find most disturbing is her choice of bikini - one would have thought a lady of that age may want to cover up a bit more - but hey, kudos to her for not giving a shit I suppose.

The little boy's face in the top picture says it all.


Thanks to the lovely Becky for the tip.
Photo source: Via email

Another tasteful addition to the art world


OK this is more than just a bit weird, and by the same guy who did that rather unsavory sculpture of Britney giving birth. It's entitled, 'Paris Hilton Autopsy' by sculptor Daniel Edwards.

Art or artful dodger?

Images: Hollywood Rag

The Undead


I'm probably one of the few remaining people who know who Morgan Fairchild is, thanks to my love of the super bitch characters she played back in the 80's in such shows as Falcon Crest. In fact they always rolled her out whenever there was call for a slightly older seductress, or murderous wealthy widow, or scheming ex wife. Well I hadn't heard from her in a long, long, time, and have to confess, I kind of thought she may have expired. But no, I just discovered this recent picture of her. The first photo (top) was taken in 1981, the second, just 8 days ago. She hasn't changed a bit in more than 20 years, and still looks exactly the same. Either she sleeps in formaldehyde or she always looked 57. Weird.

Photos: Top c/o imdb.com
Bottom: Hollywood Rag

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Fuertaventura

Apologies for the lack of posts this week. We are in Fuerteventura in the Canary Islands, and there´s only one internet-connected computer in the lobby, which is usually being used.
The weather has been good, but there´s a reason why this place is so popular with wind surfers, with the name Fuertaventura roughly translating to ´strong winds´ or so one of the waiters told us. So warm, but a tendency to get windy.

Town is a flat stretch filled with bars and restaurants catering towards English tastes. There´s something kind of strange about travelling to what you´d expect to be a primarily Spanish island, only to encounter Irish pubs and Indian restaurants. I´ve never been to Ibiza or the like, but I imagine it´s a similar setup. There´s also a mini golf place that´s seen better days, but has provided Robert and I with two evenings of entertainment. I suck by the way.

The women in our resort almost all tan topless. Yesterday a group of Spanish women arranged themselves not far from where we were, and one of the larger ladies (with the biggest breasts I´ve ever seen) stripped down to her bikini bottoms and proceeded to conduct her poolside business (applying suntan lotion, taking cooling showers, holding conversations with one hand on her hip), with the most unselfconscious air I´ve ever seen. It was quite refreshing to see a woman (who didn´t fit the body-perfect stereotype) so entirely at ease with her body and herself. Inspirational.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The Landlord with Will Ferrell

This is a short film with Will Ferrell that's making the rounds on You Tube. It's weird, slightly disturbing, and very funny. If you can't see the clip, click here.

A picture moment

While perusing Hollywood Rag I happened upon these recent gems. Click to enlarge.

Pamela Anderson's weird breasts (job)


Avril Lavigne tries to work the Lilly Allen look at her
'Best Damn Thing' album launch party and fails


Jenna Jameson continues to shrink away
at the T-Mobile Sidekick iD Launch party


Nicole Richie looking cute - skinny but not quite so skeletal -
at the 14th Annual Race to Erase MS function

I'll drive

It is with great pride that I share with you the good news: I started learning how to drive just over two months ago, and today I passed my driving test. This has been hanging over my head since I was 17, and today I can finally say to all my friends and family, 'Don't worry about giving me a ride, I'll drive." I am beyond happy.

I didn't want anyone to know I was going to do it because then I suspected I'd get a barrage of text messages wishing me luck this morning, not unlike the morning of my first colonic irrigation! and that just somehow felt like too much pressure. The idea was to go and do it, and if I didn't make it, simply book again and give it another try.

I woke up at 6am with my heart beating in my chest, and thought to myself, if there's anything that's going to fail me to today it will be nerves, because aside from that, I'm pretty much ready. So I need to relax. Somehow focusing on the thought of texting my friends and calling my mother with the good news helped me switch the feeling in my stomach from anxiety to excitement, which was far better. Positive, and admittedly a risk of it being misguided, visualisation was a definite help.

Anyway, I had my test at 10.14am in Isleworth. Johnny, my instructor, met me at 7am, so we had a good 2.5 hours of driving before the test, plus time for a coffee break. In this time I manged to muck up one of my maneuvers and he was telling me off, and I was getting snippy back because I thought he was being anal. It was a sign that our time together was coming to an end, or at least, needed to. As much as I like the guy and think he is a brilliant teacher (which he most definitely is), part of my incentive for passing was escaping constantly being corrected or reprimanded by him - it kind of wares thin after a while. But I suppose that is the nature of being a student.

The exam waiting room consisted of a young guy about 19, an elderly lady, a girl in her mid twenties, and me - all of us accompanied by our instructors. Everyone looked visibly nervous, especially the elderly woman who kept sighing loudly. And then it was showtime, and the inspectors came into the room and everyone's name was called out matching them with an inspector, except me. My guy finally emerged from the room last, and said my name. My heart skipped a beat, because of all the inspectors, he had the most strict-looking face. Steely grey hair and a manner of peering over his glasses which made him look stern. When he said my name I smiled and stood up and he smiled back and that helped me relax a bit.

When we got in the car and after he had asked me my safety questions he said to me, "Just relax -I'm on your side, we want you to pass, so just take it easy and do your best." He was soft spoken and his voice reminded me of the sort they use for wild life narration programmes - posh and kind of old fashioned BBC, and strangely calming actually. For what it was worth what he said did help me relax, and I had a really good test. I aced both my maneuvers (turn in the road and reverse around a corner), and my roundabouts and dual carriageway driving was all fine. I had one or two situations with people reversing or moving out in front of me that were beyond my control, but I was cautious and did my best within the given situations.

I felt good about the test, and without wanting to sound arrogant, when he said I had passed at the end, I was over the moon happy, but not enormously surprised - it had just felt right. Six minor faults - mainly steering and position of car in the road, but these are the sort of thing I imagine will become polished with more driving experience.

I have booked one more lesson with Johnny to tackle motorway driving - just to get a bit of knowledge with lane changing etc, but in the mean time, I am now a fully-fledged driver. God it feels good to say that.

Monday, April 16, 2007

How good is your musical ear?

What happens when you take a world famous violinist, dress him up in regular clothes, and get him to busk in a busy Washington train station while people are en route to work?

Well the Washington Post decided to find out:

It was 7:51 a.m. on Friday, January 12, the middle of the morning rush hour. In the next 43 minutes, as the violinist performed six classical pieces, 1,097 people passed by. Almost all of them were on the way to work, which meant, for almost all of them, a government job.

Each passerby had a quick choice to make, one familiar to commuters in any urban area where the occasional street performer is part of the cityscape: Do you stop and listen? Do you hurry past with a blend of guilt and irritation, aware of your cupidity but annoyed by the unbidden demand on your time and your wallet? Do you throw in a buck, just to be polite? Does your decision change if he's really bad? What if he's really good? Do you have time for beauty? Shouldn't you? What's the moral mathematics of the moment?

Click here to read what happened.

Many thanks to the lovely Susan for the tip.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Sunday update

Lauren who is three today

Today is my niece Lauren's birthday - Happy Birthday Lauren!. She is three. Roberto and I are off to my sister's place to help Lauren and Craig (who's birthday was on Friday) celebrate. The weather here in London is awesome - sunny, blue blue skies, and balmy. My sister has a garden, so I plan on taking full advantage and getting a bit of sun on my pins.

We haven't sold our flat yet, in fact, we haven't even had any offers yet. Saying that, we've had a total of three people view it - so our estate agent is going to need a swift kick up the bum, in the form of a motivational phone conversation that is.

Two of the people asked about the hospital across the road from our place, to which I replied that it was an orthopedic one, which, as it happens, is only open daily during weekdays and which is never serviced by ambulances with noisy sirens. They asked about it as though it were a negative. My question is this - you want a flat slap bang in the center of London, what kind of view do you think you're going to get? Fountains and goslings? There are worse things to have across the road from you in central London, not least of all night clubs, restaurants, pubs and or bars, with people leaving at all hours and regaling you with their singing or testosterone-fulled fighting. In Soho and parts of Covent Garden you're contending with Eastern European prostitutes and people shooting up in your alley.

Anyway, I think we'll probably land up selling to a couple very much like ourselves - 30's, no kids, career's based in the centre or the city, and busy social lives. Here's hoping.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Prince William and Kate Middleton call it quits!


Oh my god, hot off the press, as in that bastard Perez hasn't even got this story yet - Prince William and Kate Middleton have spilt up!

According to Yahoo News:
The Sun newspaper claimed that the split was caused by the huge pressures on the young couple and because of the time William has devoted to Army life.

A "close friend" of the couple told the paper: "As far as Kate is concerned, William simply hasn't been paying her enough attention.

"She is stuck in London while he is living in an officer's mess in Dorset. Kate feels hugely frustrated that their relationship just seems to be going backwards at a rate of knots." Continue reading.

Personally I don't see this lasting, and I reckon they'll get back together again. That is when homegirl's girlfriends get finished talking some sense into her, "Are you bloody mad? You stand to be the future queen of England. We think you can put up with the occasional lack of attention. And what William doesn't give to you, you'll get more than enough of from the paparazzi!"

Or maybe it was the thought of spending holidays at Balmoral with Prince Phillip banging on - that's enough to put anyone off.

Photo source: timeinc.net

Thursday, April 12, 2007

The next US President?


I don't talk politics on here because quite frankly I don't consider myself informed enough to have an educated opinion on things. However I have, like the rest of the world, been following what's going on in Iraq, and quite frankly it scares me, not least of all because of the UK's involvement.

I've heard good things about Barack Obama before, and having watched this clip on You Tube, I think the American public would be smart to seriously consider him as their next president. He's intelligent, insightful, has a sense of humour, and more importantly, sounds as though he really gets it. This guy may well be the answer to a lot of the problems that country is facing. Vote Obama!

If you can't see the clip, click here.

Who's that girl?


When I first saw these pictures of Kylie at the opening of H&M in China, I thought it was Nicole Kidman. She looks totally different. Some gossip sites are hinting at a bit of botox and collagen help. Either way it's good to see her looking happy and (hopefully) healthy. I'm loving the hair.

Photo source: Hollywood Rag

Jordan works the giant canary look


I love Jordan, really I do. I'm also a big supporter of women glamming it up when pregnant, as opposed to the olden days when all that was available to them were unattractive tent dresses and sensible (read ugly) shoes. But pregnant or not, surely one shouldn't abandon the basic rules of style all together? I'm no expert, but this ensemble does feel a bit, well, much I think. If such a thing can possibly apply when talking about the big breasted one.

Photos source: Hollywood Rag

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

A slice of Joburg

I was going through the photos on my digital camera and came across this image. I remember taking it from the back of the car while travelling in Johannesburg with my sister and her boyfriend in early March of this year. I think it's a great photo not only because this is the actual raw image - absolutely 100% unretouched, colour-corrected, or even cropped - but because it manages to capture something about Joburg. Those long and at times lonely stretches of road, the incredible smoky sunsets, and the vast open spaces.

Who's the daddy?


Finally, what we've known all along has been confirmed, and the father of Dannielynn has been revealed as none other than Zsa Zsa Gabore's husband, Frederic von Anhalt.

OK, not really - it's Larry Birkhead, naturally.
Continue reading.

Photo source: Dlisted

Liz Hurley's inlaws are not fans

OK, I'm not sure how true this story is. Hang on a second, of course it must be true, it featured in the Sunday Mirror! What was I thinking?!?

Anyway, according to the Sunday Mirror - that bastion of journalistic excellence and accuracy, Arun Nayars folks are not best impressed by their treatment at the hands of Liz and Arun.

Vinod Nayar apparently told the Sunday Mirror:
"Liz and Arun have treated us very shabbily. My heart is heavy with pain."

Vinod reports that, at one point, he and his wife were actually ejected from the wedding celebration, to the astonishment of 200 guests...Naturally, the new girl, Elizabeth Hurley, gets the brunt of the Nayar anger, with Vinod saying that he believes that it's the former gal pal of Hugh Grant and her desire for publicity that turned his sons against him. Nayar told the Mirror, "I believe it was expressly done on Elizabeth's orders."

This is no small family spat, as Vinod Nayar made it clear how he feels about Elizabeth Hurley to the Mirror, as quoted by Playfuls, "Maybe they didn’t really want my side of the family there. They didn’t even have the manners to invite my 87-year-old mother. I once thought Liz was a lovely, un-spoilt woman, but now I see that she is a very hard person. It was important for her to get celebrity faces there. That’s what the Hello! deal was about. She was fulfilling her contractual obligation."

Vinod Nayar pulled no punches with Elizabeth Hurley in the interview, saying, "I knew she was very ambitious, but I never realized just how desperate she is for fame and attention. My wife and I were publicly humiliated and treated like social outcasts for the sake of a 2 million pound magazine deal. We were pushed into the background like poor relations."

Elizabeth Hurley has made it clear, through declaration, that she doesn't want anything to do with Vinod Nayar and his wife and the couple have even offered to pay back the 30,000 pounds that the family spent on a cancelled post-wedding party along with any other expenses that Vinod incurred.

Personally I have a hard time believing Elizabeth Hurley could be capable of such callous behaviour. I mean, choosing two million bucks and loads of publicity over two old folks - surely not!

Update: Here's the story on the Daily Mail website.

Source: Mollygood
Photo: Hello Magazine, UK

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Live Free or Die Hard - Are you ready?


The new Die Hard trailer, 'Live Free or Die Hard (2007)' is here. This film is going to blow your socks off because it's completely different to any of the ones that came before. Basically this genius storyline involves some maniac with a god complex wanting to destroy half of America (aka the World, people!!!), and not even the entire USA army, special trained forces, CIA or FBI can stop him. No, for this job, there can be only one man, abeit an ageing bald one. But wait, it's not that easy, this maniac is a smart one, and has someone the bald guy holds very dear to him in his clutches.

I for one am astounded by the complex and innovative plot structure - this departure from a tried and tested formula was clearly a big risk for them.

If you can't see the clip, click here.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

The world's crappiest song and longest music video - ever


Rufus linked to this yonks ago on his site, and I recently dug it up again on You Tube for your viewing pleasure. Before you press play make sure you empty your bladder, put the cat out, get a large cup of tea, and get real comfortable. It's going to be a long ride. If you can't see the clip, click here.

For those of you who saw the famous Tom Cruise/John Travolta/R Kelly 'In the closet' South Park episode, I'm not sure if this song and video were Kelly's response to that, or if the episode was a piss take of the song which already existed. The idea that someone actually wrote this as a serious piece of music, and then made this excruciatingly bad video to accompany it is just too much to comprehend. Not to mention completely missing the overt gay reference. I mean it's got to be a pisstake right? The alternative is just frightening.

How to sell you house without baking bread

OK the enigmatic reference I made to some news in a previous post is not that I am up the duff - thanks for asking everyone - but that we are moving house and selling our existing home. Naturally this isn't a sudden thing and it's been in progress for a couple of months now, but I'm superstitious and I didn't want to start talking about it until we had the paperwork signed and sealed.

We've put our house on the market and today we had our first prospective buyer come and check it out. The place was immaculate - thanks to me waking up at 7.30am and cleaning and tidying until about 12.30. Robert helped move all the bigger stuff last night. After all that cleaning and tidying I think they were in here for 5 mins tops. OK, so it's not exactly a huge house, it's a 3 bedroom flat, but still, I don't know, I wanted them to linger longer and soak up all my hard work somehow. I wanted appreciation dammit.

Having looked at a fair share of houses in our own search for the right place, I've become quite a dab hand at knowing what makes a place look presentable. Here are a few inexpensive and easy-to-do tips on how to help things along:

If you have the time, it's really worth ensuring your cupboards are reasonably neat, and not just randomly shoving your stuff in to make the place look tidy. Chances are if there's a woman looking at your place she'll open a cupboard or two to check out the storage space. The last thing you want is for a pair of ski poles or a box containing your collection of beer mats to hit her on the head. Also if things are all bunched up in there, it gives someone the impression that there is not enough space in your house.

Don't have old crusty-looking soap in the bathroom. Actually, you should never have old crusty soap in the bathroom, but especially not if someone is coming to look at your place. Ditto re. wash clothes. Make sure the kitchen and bathroom/s are clean and smelling nice. Not just tidy, but clean, and put any personal items like your razor, KY jelly, or your contraceptive pill away. It's one thing selling a lifestyle, but there is such a thing as too much information. As a general rule put away as much stuff as you can, so the space looks clean.

What you call much-loved ornaments and mementos, someone else sees as clutter. The idea is to give a sense of space - especially relevant in somewhere like London where this is a rarity. If you are serious about selling your place, trust me on this one, spend a bit extra on a storage unit for a couple of months and pack away all your clutter into it. At least that stuff you can survive without on a daily basis, which once it's in storage, you'll soon see you don't actually need at all - ever.

Books, magazines, basically everything on display gives an impression - not just of you, but of the atmosphere of your house. So bare that in mind before leaving something like a copy of 'Loaded' or 'Knife World' on your bedside table.

Fresh flowers are an inexpensive yet nice touch. They make a place look homey and smell nice, and are a lot less trouble than baking fresh bread or cookies or whatever the hell it is the estate agents magazines tell you to do. I mean, wtf?!?

Use your good stuff - your new linen, towels etc. Stuff that has stains on or looks old, makes your place look equally dowdy.

The central idea is that although you want your place to convey a degree of individual character, this is not about stubbornly advertising your personal eccentricities - love me love my extensive wall-mounted bayonette collection, for example. The moment you put your house on the market, you have to see it as a potential commodity, which sometimes means taking a bit, or in some people's case a lot, of yourself out of it so that it's neutral enough that a prospective buyer can imagine their own life in there.

Anyway, we'll see if any of this works and we get this place sold. I'll keep you posted.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Rob's Vagina


MTV have a new comedy sketch series called Human Giant which is due to premier next week. Here's a taste of what you can expect. Warning: The word 'vagina' is used a lot.

Tip c/o wwtdd

Sunday, April 01, 2007

And so

I had my third visit to the test center today where I will be doing my practical driving exam in about two weeks time. I've noticed, and I don't know if this is because I'm a learner or if it's something experienced drivers find too, but I have good driving days and not so good ones depending on my mood. Yesterday was a not so good driving day, not least of all because I made a gazillion stupid (really stupid) mistakes during my test run. I'm a bit (ok a lot) of a perfectionist, and when I don't get something off the bat and just so I get really angry with myself.

This morning I woke up and resolved to have a better driving day, and to apply the things I'd learnt from yesterday's mistakes and just do my best. And it worked, I had a really good day's driving - over three hours! On our way back from Isleworth a lorry driver pulled up next to us at a junction, and rolled down his window. I thought - here we go he's going to make a comment about something I've done wrong or say the back tyre's wonky or something like that. Instead he looked over at me and then my instructor and said: "She's ready to pass the test this one. She looks really confident on the road." I guess he had been driving behind us or something. It totally made my day.

I pray to god that I manage to keep it together, not stress too much, and gather my confidence for the test day itself. Fingers crossed x

On a separate note, while Robert golfed and beered his way through this weekend in Dingle for a friend's stag do, I've had an enjoyable few days doing things with my girlfriends. I went to the Face of Fashion exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery with Catherine on Friday afternoon. It's a good exhibition - some gorgeous stuff - but very small (you can see it in 10-15 mins), which I thought was a bit cheeky considering the ticket cost £8.

I was invited out to Knightsbridge on Friday night which was great, and I caught up with my friend Veronica for a one on one last night. Both nights were early ones, which meant I got home, took off all my makeup, put on my long (unattractive) pyjamas, took my vitamins, and got to read some Maya Angelou before lights out.

I've got some other news to announce this week, but I need to speak to Roberto first and see if he's OK with me spilling the beans at this point. Watch this space.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been doing some work on myself recently, not a new nose or boobs or anything like that, but looking inward stuff. Ocassionally I want to make a note on here of the things I'm learning and coming to appreciate because this is effectively my diary, and it's good to read back from time to time to see where I'm at and what I've learned.

Today it's these things:
- Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, but challenge you enough to want to be even better.
- Not everything nor every person that is difficult is worth the struggle.
- Wake up earlier to give yourself time to gather your strength and inner resources for the day ahead, and to have some quiet time. This is especially relevant when you've got something really important to do.
- Count your blessings, however small, every morning and every night before going to bed. The more you do this the more you realise just how much you have to be grateful for, and it helps keep you focused on the postive.
- If it doesn't feel right, chances are, it isn't. Listen to your inner voice.
- When you ask someone how they are, be prepared to really listen to their response. It might not be what you expected to hear.

OK, enough Oprah stuff. Happy April Fools day. My sister Mags tells this joke brilliantly (she really got me with it), and I think it's a great one to tell on the 1st of April so here it is:

Her: Oh my god, did you hear about that American actress who's been killed?
Me: What? Who? When?
Her: Um, like yesterday. Her name's, um, Reese, whatyoucallit, um Reese...?
Me: Whitherspoon?!?
Her: No, with a knife!