Thursday, March 15, 2007

A weight on my mind

I'm feeling fed up today - with myself that is. I've gained about four kilos since we got married in September last year. That's almost all the weight I lost in order to fit into my wedding dress. I've not really been eating more, in terms of quantity, but I've become quite relaxed with things like white carbs and sugar - which for me are red flags.

Oh sugar - I've had this craving for chocolate and sweet things since getting back from South Africa - and that's most likely a big contributor to my new girth. And no, I'm not pregnant - so it's not one of those cravings either. Then there's the fact, as Robert pointed out last night, that I haven't been to the gym. So no exercise, lots of sugar, and carbs - and there's your answer.

I hate even getting into this state of mind, because I know that being thinner isn't everything, but it's not just that my clothes have become tight, the fact of the matter is I don't feel healthy like this. How can you when you're putting loads of processed foods into your body and have no outlet for toxins?

I have my dreaded colonic irrigation thingy tomorrow morning, and I imagine she's going to tell me I need to lay off certain things - quite possibly wheat and dairy - at least for a while, and that may kick start me into losing some of this bulge.

I guess I'm just frustrated with myself for something that is entirely self-induced. I want to blame someone or something (like the woman in the previous post who blames the NHS for not helping her lose weight!), but the fact of the matter is I only have myself to blame.

Anyway, enough bitching. It's never too late to turn things around and get your shit together. I'm going to throw away all the remaining chocolate in the house, and stock the fridge with fresh fruit and veg. I'm also going to put aside a set time of day I go to the gym - and unless something urgent comes up, not deviate from that.

In other news, my driving instructor has informed me that I should be ready to take my driving test at the end of April - which is exciting. Positive thoughts and all that.

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