Monday, March 12, 2007

Spring cleaning

Robert, when you can tie him down to actually do it, is very good at clearing things out. With him it's simple - does he need/use something, or doesn't he. Things that fall into the latter category are thrown away without a second thought, or if I have time to intervene - tossed into a box for a charity shop.

I, on the other hand, am terrible at clearing out - simply because it's not only a an hour or so of getting dust on my hands, but the equivalent of five to ten hours of unwanted therapy. It's a long drawn-out process of turning each item over in my hand considering it's value in my life, and forcing me to revisit the past. Like that time I wondered into Top Shop and foolishly thought this size 8 metallic dress would fit me - one day - if I starved for six consecutive months and miraculously managed to change my genetic makeup that is. And equally it forces me to face facts (there is no way in hell I am ever going to fit into this dress, I wasted money buying it, and now I may as well get rid of it). The final diagnosis following today's clearing session: I'm overweight and I'm also no good with money.

It's painful.

Similarly, I form hopeless attachments to odd (read useless) little things, like a box of matches we have from the Cliff - an extraordinarily romantic restaurant in Barbados - procured on the same holiday Robert proposed to me. Or a collection of love letters I still have from a boy called Jason, written to me in different coloured inks (accompanied by lots of hearts and kisses), when I was nine.

Before long, there are no longer just two piles: stuff I need and use and therefore should keep, and stuff to chuck/give away, but also a 'stuff to keep even though I have absolutely no practical use for it and never will do' pile too. These items inevitably find themselves in a box which sits unopened, only to be investigated prior to the next move - nostalgically mulled over again, before being repacked. And so forth and so on. A bunch of useless yet sentimental stuff I drag from one stage of my life to the next.

Alternatively, there are times I have enough of all the clutter, and go into a cleaning fugue state - throwing things away that I genuinely need. Once, during one of these frenzied cleaning sprees, I accidentally threw away (and subsequently lost forever) a piece of family jewelry that was very dear to me. Similarly, just this past week, a brand-new Clinique foundation compact found it's way into the bathroom dustbin. Fortunately I discovered my mistake and saved it in the nick of time. What was I thinking? I mean, how could I possibly inflict my shiny T-zone onto the unsuspecting people of London?

Seriously, I should leave this cleaning business to the professionals.

Speaking of cleaning, the lovely woman who keeps our home clean and smelling nice, is pregnant. She told me this week, and I exploded into excited gushing mode only to stop short when I saw her face. This is not good news for her. She is 37, lives with a partner (longish term I think), and says she's financially secure. I get the feeling the problem lies in her relationship. She also kept repeating, 'It's just not the right time in my life.' I felt very sorry for her - what do you say in a situation like this?

Life's strange like that - on the other side of things I have at least three coupled friends who are trying desperately to get pregnant, and worrying about the fact that they're in their mid 30's. You spend years of your life fearing that the absolute worst thing that could happen to you (or so it seems) is falling pregnant. And then, finally, you settle down and actually want to have a baby, and guess what? You find out it's not that easy. You catch yourself bitterly laughing about all that stuff they told you at school about it only taking one time. Then you have annoying people who grin at you and say, 'but it's sure fun trying right?' I imagine that begins to ware thin pretty soon too.

I have another driving lesson today, which makes it my 5th. I've got the roundabout thing sorted, and I've started doing my three-point turns, or as it's now known 'turns in the road.' I believe we are going to do reverse parking today. Drivers of London you've been warned!

1 comment:

Ugly Pig said...

The best way to fall pregnant is to not think about it, go on holiday, have fun and it will just happen. As soon as you think about it and start planning it, it doesn't happen.