Monday, February 12, 2007

A good reason to have kids

My sister Chantell told me the following story this morning, and because it made me laugh so much it has to be my favourite birthday present so far :-) She has also given me full permission to retell it here, and once you read it, you'll understand what a generous and lovely person she is to allow me to do so.

Before I begin, and to fully appreciate the humour of this, you need to picture Chantell: Petite, very beautiful, and wonderfully stylish. The kind of woman you can't really picture doing the mundane realities in life like having her legs waxed, or bleaching facial hair. She's just kind of, well, perfect, and you imagine she sort of wakes up that way and floats through the day on a cloud of Chanel perfume.

OK - so keep that image in mind, and now read on ...

Her, her partner Gary, and her son Kyle (who is almost 6) recently attended a dinner party, which I believe was business related. At one point she had to go and use the bathroom, and Kyle (needing a wee) accompanied her. This is probably a good point at which to mention that Kyle has just seen a film called 'Over the fence' which apparently features a skunk, with an appropriately smelly bottom, as skunks are wont to have. Kyle, who is a movie buff, and loves to incorporate lines and references from films, has subsequently began referring to anything to do with bottoms and specifically loo activities, as skunk this or skunk that. You get the picture.

So he goes to the loo with his mum, does what he needs to do, and then hangs about for a bit before returning to the dinner table.

In the mean time my sister discovers that the flush mechanism is not working as it should because it's a newly installed toilet. Not wanting to leave any sort of unpleasantness for other guests, or the hosts to discover (she's also incredibly considerate and a neat freak), she nips to the kitchen to find a jug with which to fill the cistern. She then spends about 15 minutes trying to fill it up with water and make it flush.

Eventually, after some success, she returns to the table and notices everyone kind of looking at her strangely, but puts it down to the fact that perhaps she was gone for a bit longer than the average loo visit.

Later, when they get into the car to leave, Gary explains that when Kyle returned from the bathroom, and was asked where Chantell was, he took it upon himself to matter of factly announce to Gary and the rest of the assembled dinner guests that his mom was, "In the bathroom making skunk noises."

She says upon hearing this she was so shocked and embarrassed she burst out laughing. Later she rationalised that the upside to this whole mortifying business was that these were people she was unlikely to see again. A refreshing thought considering that now whenever they looked at her they most likely thought: 'There's the woman who makes skunk noises (whatever those could possibly be) in the loo.'

As luck and life would have it, she has subsequently seen this group of people twice.

Classic.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lucille, Happy Birthday from Amsterdam!
A n s

Ugly Pig said...

You give me far too much credit, I look like crap in the morning and sometimes, throughout the day, but Thank you :) !

letters from london said...

Thanks Ans!